Pete looked me in the eye, pointed, and said: "I know this isn't very yoga-like, but I'm going to kick your (expletive) today."

It was my first time at yoga class, so I wasn't exactly sure how this was supposed to work. But I was pretty sure most yoga classes didn't involve cursing and trash-talking, let alone pointing.

I was sitting on my couch watching the major league baseball All-Star Game, wearing a Mets hat and cheering dramatically as the Mets' David Wright hit a home run to help the pathetic National League get on the scoreboard.

Then I turned to my friend, Elan, and we raised our glasses in triumph. We were watching the game, being men's men. But the glasses we raised were fancy wine glasses filled with a fruity Italian red wine.

There's never going to be chick president of the United States.

There were always girls on my Little League teams. I didn't have a problem with this, of course. I was just upset that they were always better than me.

So what if I'm less of a man than I once was?

The following information will not affect your life at all: After three years, 130 columns and 100,000 words about dating, The Bachelor Pad is finished.

When I was in middle school, if two guys were leaning on a locker talking to each other there's a 90-percent chance they were listing the reasons why Michael Jordan could single-handedly crush any team in the NBA.

It totally has gotten out of hand. There are now -- are you ready for this? -- dating sites for people who classify themselves as "asexual."

Humans have always looked for a formula for love. Some cultures believe all it takes is a bunch of cash, maybe a donkey or two, and a signed parental "arrangement."

Some women who've rejected me think love only works if the man is tall, or at least taller than 5' 8", plus or minus. 

Now, thanks to the Internet and our societal obsession over finding an answer to EVERYTHING, there's a new way to find love: Take a test.

A range of dating sites are offering personality tests to better match people, and some even hired scientists -- who always get the girls -- to come up with the questions.

I'm pleading with dating companies to stay away from my iPod, which I love like afirst-born child.

It turns out I'm too late.

Dating companies have been so successful online that entrepreneurs have extended their reach into new formats like cell phones. Now, through PodDater.com, users of the new video iPod can download video profiles of singles and carry those profiles around in their pockets.

Why would someone want to do that, you wonder? Why wouldn't they just wait until they get home to look through dating profiles, you ask?